Much has been written about the power of belief and the positive impact it can have on our lives and our career. Less emphasis has been placed on the negative power of beliefs that inhibit our life and career success. We tend to use them without realizing it, and they are totally irrational. This article outlines three such beliefs.

Irrational Belief #1:  Life Should be Fair… Have you ever watched a television program about people living in poverty in third world countries, and noticed how so many who have little more than a roof over their heads, and enough food to eat, seem so happy and content. Have you thought “Gee those people seem to be smiling and laughing more than most people I know ever smile and laugh!” There may be many reasons for this, but one can be understood by thinking about a second type of television program. You can look at nearly every sitcom produced over the last 50 years and see a common pattern. From the old Andy Griffith Show, to I Love Lucy, right up to Frasier, Friends, and The Office, the pattern is that the characters experience problems, but the problems are resolved within the half hour show, and there is nearly always a happy ending. (I see Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm as Larry David’s “exceptions that prove this rule”.)

This pattern is reflective of our society, one that differentiates us from many simpler societies. If I can coin a phrase, it can be described as Happy Days Syndrome. This is a strongly held belief that life must be fair and problem free. And if we do experience unfairness or experience problems we can rely on “the Fonz Factor” to resolve everything within a half hour.( This coining phrases is fun.) If it isn’t readily resolved we are unhappy and upset because it contradicts our belief about life.

When you think about it, the belief that life must be fair and problem free is totally irrational. I doubt there is anybody in the world that has had a totally fair and problem free life. For most of us life is a series of ups and downs, sometimes more ups, sometimes more downs. But the pattern holds true for all.

This is one example of an irrational belief that causes those who hold it, a great deal of frustration and unhappiness. On the other hand, those who know that life contains good times, bad times, fairness, and unfairness, (such as the people in developing economies described above) aren’t disappointed, and as long as they have the basics of food and shelter, tend to be much more satisfied with life.

There are many more such irrational beliefs. I’ll focus on a couple that are typical of managers; they not only cause unhappiness to those who hold them, but also contribute to poor management practise.

Irrational Belief #2: I Must Personally Have the Solution to All Problems One of the most commonly used criteria when evaluating management potential is problem solving/decision making. Part of a managers job is to be able to solve problems. That’s rational! However, many stretch the meaning simply by adding the word “all”. Being able to solve all problems is irrational. Nobody can solve all problems. This belief can lead to several negative consequences.

The most prevalent is a supervisor’s reluctance to discuss problems with team members just in case a problem comes up for which he/she doesn’t have a solution. Similarly, one reason that the implementation of performance management systems is so difficult is that supervisors are afraid that employee will ask them something about the development or their career that they can’t answer.

I’ve found that, when implementing concepts like team problem solving, or development/career discussions, it really helps to emphasise to managers that they are allowed and even encouraged to say “I don’t know”. Of course it helps if you follow this by saying “I’ll find out for you,” or “I can refer you to someone who does know” or even “let’s discuss it in more detail and maybe some ideas will come to you”.

Irrational Belief #3: When Something Goes Wrong Someone Must Be to Blame I’m sure we’ve all met a manager or two who holds this irrational belief. Not only is it irrational but it’s dysfunctional. Rather than look for someone to blame, it’s far more productive to look at such issues in the context of opportunities to learn; problems that must be resolved; or strategies to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Of course this doesn’t mean that no one is ever to blame. If someone is accountable then appropriate action should be taken, but the thing to avoid is the immediate blame reaction; and the anger and recriminations that come with this style.

And There Are More: There are too many such irrational beliefs to be addressed in a short article. The important point is to be able to identify them and, if they occur, to debate them. Watch out for some of the following:

• I’m the manager so I must be right
• My team members must like me
• If doesn’t matter at all if my employees don’t like me.
• I’m a manager so I must be perfect. (a belief predominate among oldest siblings in a family)
• I’ll delegate but things must be done my way.
• I must always be in control of the situation
• If it feels right, it must be right.

For further reading on the subject I’d recommend any one of the books of Albert Ellis. One of Ellis’s guidelines is to watch out for any belief that contain either of the words “must” or “should”. These are most likely irrational. In fact he termed this propensity to live in the world of must, or should “musterbation”.

What to do! The concept of irrational belief is a simple one and one that, when brought to peoples’ attention always seems to resonate. However, breaking the pattern isn’t easy. One early and important step is to take time to recognize the irrational beliefs that limit your development and well-being, then to develop a strategy to combat them. Once again we can’t detail such strategies here, so I’ll revert to a quote by Marlene Dietriech while being interviewed about a recently published autobiography. When she was asked to go into detail about a particular stage in her life she snapped “Read the Book!” And a very readable book on the subject of combating irrational beliefs is “Feeling Good” by David Burn. A recommended read!

Unable to resist plugging a product or two, Touchstone also publishes a book that addresses the subject, (Make Training Work) and offers a similar one day workshop called “Growthgoals.”

For more information contact Bob Power